3 weathers a day in Enfield

I am really proud of the place I have called home for the last 7 years ...

Enfield is the name of the place :) 

The world's first ATM machine was installed right here in the heart of town .. so don't fuck about will ya' ?

Spelling's pretty similar to the same town where the best football team comes from ! 

You know what time it is ..

 Yeah , I just heard some of you cringe - going , yeah rite .. well , yeah fuckin' right back at ya' mate ! Haha .
Anyways , unlike countries with 4 seasons annually .. today I was put up with 3 different seasons on the same day . Well , this morning I woke up .. it almost felt like one of them days in a beachside country . Beachside country ? Well , I dunno what I really meant by that but everytime I go on holiday and accomodate myself next to a beach house somewhere , I feel like a fuckin' hero . The hangovers and body ache's usually don't suceed in prolonging my sleep or rest in anyway ..

One of the best views I got with my travels is this one , I love .. this one to start off with 

Picture yourself waking up to this . It was a normal shot taken from my room using a 100 quid camera mate , nothing special but the picture made it priceless

The next day , I got a bit more creative and captured this one ..

As the high tides set the shores , you see double shades .. A morning dip ?!

A view from my room during sunset ..

When life makes you think that you're a bore .. meaningless living , beer drinking , sex thinking , fat carrying , mind fuckin' person . I think the best medicine for your cures - TRAVEL . No I am not speaking through experience :) Assholes ..

Anyways , I am not gonna share the location of the places above in case you white tourists decide to make it just another fuckin' Phuket or Majorca . If you really wanna go there , speak to me mate , I'll draw you the fuckin' map :) Anyways , peculiar that I started off speaking about my wonderful town Enfield and ended up sharing sunsets and views from miles apart .

Anyways , just as I was speaking to you guys , while the sun was shining and the weather was sweet - it suddenly started snowing hard for like 10 minutes . I ain't joking .. 

This is the view I now get from my place in Enfield .. 

On a clear day , I could see all the way down to Epping Forest - That's what the estate agent said anyway :P

This entire post got me really confused now .. I wanted to write about something , I ended up writing about something like chalk and cheese . So I will try and end this post trying my best to quote something rather intellectual .. Ermm , the next time you wake up and feel shitty , despite trying your best to convince yourself that you are fine and if you still feel like shite - Just continue sleeping !?!!?!

I took this photo 6 years ago in a friends house in Puchong but I think it kinda generated the message . 

Hope you guys are as confused as I am at the moment .. Nice weekend geezers :)

Basically , due to the medication I have been prescribed these last few days .. I realise I had woken up 4 times today . Most of my dreams were spawned alongside these picturesque views

Dinner at Benji boy's

Benji and family invited us over for dinner the other night .. It was a very exciting day for me as it would be the first time I get to see Keeley and Lilly Mai after this long pause although I was quite anxious to try Ben's cooking , nervous more like it huh ?!

Keeley and Lilly looked so awesome , it was a family reunion to be honest . Benji was really enthusiastic about preparing dinner so we headed to the kitchen . I was the sous-chef , imitating some of those people in funny hats in the show The f-word except I had no hat on . My head chef was very organised and besides the occasional expressions with the word fuck , everything was smooth sailing . I learnt alot about English cooking .. for example peeling the potatoes - which felt like a complete a hassle . Trumphed at it towards the end though :)

Ben prepared onions with some baked peppers in vinegar and fried them together for a while and left them to be jellified as he put it .. They looked like this after 20 mins and tasted fuckin' awesome !

 

Ben then put in some of his magic powders , mixed them up together and started marinating this awesome lamb chops . He then put them in the refrigerator for the flavour to blend in 

How the meat looked after marination - Sick huh ?! Dijon mustard with lumps in ! Right Benji ?!

What the girls were up to when the men were at work :)

Someone couldn't keep his hands off the food !!

Awesome with lamb chops !

I don't have the photos for the two other ingredients but try and imagine this anyways :

1. Potatoes peeled and boiled and then baked with some special tops
2. Cauliflowers - chopped small and glazed with cheddar cheese and milk

Keeley put it very clearly that she loves his cooking but he takes a fuckin' long time . Indeed he did , this is how everybody looked whilst waiting for the food and I even took this oppurtunity to take photos of these two fishes in the kitchen ..

Had a small opinionated conversation about these fished in the aquarium but Benji convinced me that he spoke to them everyday when he woke up and that they weren't lonely in there . I think one was called fish and the other was called chips :P

That is a picture of me and my god daughter - Lilly Mai . Adorable and mysterious , I got a feeling she would be a musician traveling around the world , flower sticking and dread locked for sure :)

Anyways , at around 9:30 pm .. the food was finally ready ..
As Ben put it .. Done !

Benji boy -I didn't expect you to prepare such a good meal man . You were pulling awesome Jamie Oliver sounding phrases in the kitchen and the food seemed to have come from the River Cottage :)
The wait was that all satisfying afterall :)

A satisfied customer - think the smile says alot !

Keeley having some bites and posing for the camera like Britains Next top model

It was yet another awesome day at The Farendens . Next time around , we are gonna be trying Kerry's chicken pie :) Am gonna be counting the days .. Thanks guys , we had a fuckin' blast ! xxx

A Boa Constrictor

I am a fervent believer on these 2 ultimate wildlife rules :

1. Wild animals are called that for a reason and domestication of these animals is like intruding against the laws of nature 
2. Animals in the wild are best studied and observed from a distance without any form of interference of their natural habitats 

I have read numerous reports on people keeping these wild sometimes protected species of animals in the pleasure of their own homes . I was inspired on writing about the Boa Constrictors as I had met an old friend yesterday who then conveyed yet another very interesting story in which happened right here in the heart of London . For those of you who don't know how these snakes look :

The Boa Constrictors - 'A desired pet'

Interesting facts :

• Carnivorous reptiles
• Lifespan in the wild 20-30 years 
• Can grow up to 13 feet in size+ 100 pounds in weight
• Largest boa found was 18 feet !
  
• They are 2 feet in size when they are born and continue growing throughout their lifespan

Snakes emerge although they originally evolved thousands of miles away

What we need to know :

• They are not domesticated pets 
• They don't belong in homes but in their natural habitations
• They are hunted for sale on the Illegal Exotic Pet Trade
• Some species of the Boa's are endangered
• South Americans used them in homes to control rat infestations
  
• It has been proven that many owners find it hard to cope with the evergrowing sizes of these snakes therefore resort to releasing them into the wild when it suits their fancy

Here's the interesting story I heard yesterday in which really gave me the chills !

Landmark at the Crouch End town centre

Why am I speaking about snakes and then diverting towards Crouch End you ask ?

• Well basically .. my friend has an acquaintance that owns a 6 feet Boa Constrictor who lives just a few houses from his . My friend has a mass phobia for snakes therefore was rather paranoid whenever he went over for a drink or a fuckin' biscuit 
• My mate was there last week and his friend was rather upset and explained that his Boa Constrictor is behaving rather awkwardly for the last week 
• Interesting fact ! This Boa sleeps with him during the nights and usually curls up like in a spiral shape , you know the usual sight we watch on the National Geographic channel but for the last week , the snake has been sleeping in a straight position
• Fearing the snake may be ill , he took the snake to the vet in Crouch End and explained that his snake had not eaten or drank any water - continuing how the sleeping position has changed overnight 

The veterinarian applauded him for bringing the snake in immediately as this has saved his life . Not the fuckin' snake but of the owner himself ..

• What the snake was doing by positioning himself straight was to identify the size of the owner comparing it to his own
• Why he had not eaten or had anything to drink for 10 days ?
• Why don't you think for yourself .. ??!!

Lesson we all learn - Don't try and change the laws of nature you stupid fucks ! Tigers and lions do not belong in cages , zoos or circuses . Why try take away an animals natural instincts wanting to integrate it with your personal thrills . One day when I put you in a cage and make you dance for thousands of cheering people .. I wanna see you smile ! 

A dream

I went out on a bender last night , totally unplanned . One of those nights when you thought was gonna be slow and chilled but then the opposite happens . Went to Nay Tun's place last night and he prepared this sick steak . It was definitely the first time I have ever seen him cook Western food but the turnout was absolutely fantastic !

I then went somewhere really special for a really singular reason . I will blog about this tomorrow with pictorials . Was simply thinking , a couple of bevy's down the Ridgeway and I should be done . Out of the blue , was invited to a party at Taryn's house . Little did I know that the party compromised of almost 20-30 people . It was a very mixed crowd party and I must say that the Polish beers I brought along with me flanking the nice people who were there enabled me to have a good time ..

Was then joined by Andy , Sam and Ben for some minutes - we said our goodbyes when we realised that everything was closed . Another drunken walk home .. realised I had nicked some road bleeping lights on the way home . I am very attracted to the lights when I am drunk .. ain't my fault really !

I was in my brother Ben's house alongside with Kerry and her mate . This mate of hers was showing me little drawings that she made while she was bored or expressing herself . For some weird reason .. we got along so well . I felt like she was my spiritual friend that I have been lacking for all these times in my life .

Whilst she was seated on the other side of the room , we had small glimpses of each other at every given oppurtunity and everytime our eyes met , I felt this tiny little tingle at the back of me neck . I felt like I was 17 ... I felt like I am in love with love all over again . And at one point , I went up to her and sat next to her . She smelt of summer fruits and her medium length black hair was astonishingly shiny . Her eyes were big and threw out a million gazes at me .. Just as I was going to take a deep breath to keep my cool .

Our hands met and we held on , very slowly ..

We gawked into each others eyes with passion

Our hands were moving very gently , discovering the magic of the moment

We then hugged .. I felt reborn

Then of course , we shared the most wonderful kiss .. a little bit sloppy in the beginning but slowly as we found each others paces .. the world just spun around us . I was in love ...

Zzzzzzzzzzzzz - The fuckin' phone then rings . My mate wants to know if I'd like to come over to his house for lunch . I really was not paying attention to what he was saying but simply trying to convince myself that it weren't a dream and hung up pretty swiftly . No matter how hard I tried , I could not get a glimpse of her face no more . I could not pursue the kiss that I longed for .. I lost the moment , I lost my magical soul partner .

Funny how I was actually devastated about this whole situation ..

Are you really out there ? Or are you merely a dream ?

A pussy discovery ..

Today , got out to get some goodies with me homeboys
We had a good laugh upon discovering this item on it's the shelf !
It says .. Pussy Energy Drink !!

If you don't believe me , here you go ..

Whether this is originated from pussy .. I don't know
Whether this gives energy to your pussy .. we surely don't know

All I know is .. it's a pussy energy drink ! 

The one thing I'd wanna know .. does it really taste like the real thing :P

Imagine , ordering this in the pub or a restaurant ...

Would this be the genuine reaction ?!

Waitress : You alright darling , how can I help you there ?
Me : Can I have a pint of pussy drink please
Waitress : You want the carbonated one or you want the real thing
                                      ??????????????

Just a thought :) I'll stick to the carbonated one , really ! 

The blessings of Svenska

Well , I have been wanting to write about my latest visits and stay in Sweden for quite some time . To be honest - My stay in Sweden was rather ecstatic and exhilirating , I will have to write them in order just so I am able to include the wonderful places and the awesome people I ventured and met while I was rockin' it up there !

 Without a shadow of doubt - One of the most amazing country I have ever backpacked to since I started getting on the roads :)

Boxing Day

The Tsunami happened on a boxing day !

Great sales happen on a boxing day !

The day after Christmas is a boxing day !

Now seriously , have you wondered why the fuck was it called a Boxing Day in the first place ?!

Well , I dug into my curiousity and asked the people who would know best , the English .

These are the answers I got :

1. There used to be big boxing title matches held a day after X-mas . This person also went on to add that this was also to commemorate great English boxers .. 

• I thought to myself , yeah .. that sounded rather neat 

1.  Another mate of mine said well , he has heard rumours that because the country went on such a massive sale on this day .. they simply called it boxing day cause people almost came to blows whilst hunting for the best bargains 

• I thought to myself , this was the kinda story that was acceptable while under the influence of alcohol

Oh well ... so I decided on the whole Boxing match thing , it was the answer for my much anticipated question . Recently , I went for dinner with some of my 'intellectual' friends who love digging soil from other people's garden if ya' know what I mean . They all blew up to laughter when I tried to conceal my foolishness by coming up with my grand answer while discussing the topic yet again - Why is it called Boxing Day !

So , I got in deeper to find these facts in which thought I might as well share with my mates and readers

• The boxing fuckin' day has got nothing to do with witht the contest of sparring or people coming to blows over a sale item 
• Oxford English Dictionary says this comes from the Christmas box; the verb box meaning: To give a Christmas-box, and then leading to the term boxing-day
  
• Traditionally, 26th of December was the day to open the Christmas Box to share the contents with the poor
• The Christmas box was a wooden or clay container where people placed gifts
• Others believe that the Boxing Day tradition originated as a holiday for members of the upper class to give boxes containing food , clothing or money to tradespeople and servants , in much the same way that many employers offer their employees bonuses today . These gifts were usually given in boxes ; hence the name 'Boxing Day' 

Now , the next time someone asks you .. this question , you know what to say . And take that moment thanking me for educating you ! :)