In pursuit of the Swedish Meatballs

 
IKEA is definitely one of the best thing that happened to us since fuckin' Microsoft Windows ..
When I was based in London , we were blessed with an enormous IKEA situated in Edmonton in which was about 15-20 minutes drive from my place . Well , IKEA not only gave bachelor cum rockstars like me an economical yet stylish way to furnish our homes but also come well equipped with a sick cafe , right next to the kids toys section ..

The Swedish meatballs are called kottbullar pronounced Shot-Bull-Ar .. nice :)
I have since been very enthusiastic about the Swedish meatballs for sometime now ..
In the beginning I found it very amusing how someone would rate meatballs being their national dish but once you try them , you get a slight glimpse into what it is really all about ..

At Ikea , I always go for the 20 meatball with chips , gravy and lingon berry sauce deal . That is the large meal deal at about £5.25 .. Pay 50 pence more and you can get a glass with unlimited refills . We always got one glass even if there was 5 of us dining .. so much for riding the system .

As I was told by Hanna , you gotta have boiled potatoes instead of them chips . It's the healthier option , that's how we do it in Sweden she used to say .. I used to think , fuck that shit ..
But sooner or later , when she was done with her plate .. the chips on my plate seemed to disappear , one or two at a time :)

That's all you need - You can't go wrong

Meatballs at IKEA was like godsent on days when you have a massive hangover .. you can beat munching on the balls that come with the same taste and same size at all times ! Just for the record , a really nice lady at IKEA gave me 3 balls on top of the 20 just because I told her I wanted to hold the record for the most balls on a plate ! I was just hungry to be honest :)

Last winter in Sweden , Hanna's grandmother was kind enough to invite me over for dinner . She had prepared meatballs but had literally taken the whole meatballs experience to a whole new level .
I am despaired that I am not able to access my external hard drive to share some pictorials with you guys at the moment but will do so when I sort my technical problems out ..

The meatballs were much bigger in size .. the gravy felt more natural and the potatoes that were served were simply fit for a kings plate . I mean , mormor ( grandmother ) should really take over the IKEA kitchens or show them how it's done so the world could have a taste of what I had going on at the time ..

You look outside .. you see this !

And we were nicely tucked under some warmth of some sheep skin .. Getting it on with some Swedish Meatballs . What more could one want ?!

In the summer , as I was determined to complete my 1000 km's driving on the wrong side of the road as I would put it . We drove to a town called ( Örebro ) .. I think this is where we were headed . I had a good excuse to indulge myself with some more meatballs and also to see for myself if the Swedish ones are better than the ones in London ..

Well , we were there a bit too early and I had starved myself so I can dig in later on .. So .... after waiting a very lengthy 20 minutes anticipating .. I got what I wanted !!

The upshot - The meatballs were bigger .. the chips felt more home made and buttery . They separated the gravy and the bread was fuckin' good and the fact is I don't even like bread !!?? The lingon berry sauce was completely different than the ones we get back home ... Overall , it was awesome - meatballs were a bit too salty for my fancy but nothing comes close to 'mormor's meatballs !! So without a shadow of doubt - Mormor is from now on the record holder for the best meatballs I have ever had :)

Mormor - you are a legend :) Love you ..

To end this wonderful post , I'd just like to say that I feel like having some meatballs right now but considering that it is 2 am in the morning , I'll just stick to some munchies :)

Drifting ..

Life in the fast lane .. Can sometimes be rather tricky

Usually comes with a heavy price ..

You feel polluted , trashed ..

You feel exhausted .. drained

Life is like that .. One second you the man

The next , you may get shat on ..

The feeling of being spat on

One thing you gotta remember - Be true to yourself 

For the sun is here for a reason - there's too much glitter to be blistered 

Tiger facts - If you give a fuck

Astonishing animals of jaw dropping beauty ..
Words will mean nothing so let the actions do the talking ..
Who would have predicted what we humans would have caused them ..

There is 7 simple facts that I'd like to get through to you :

•  According to the WWF , there are only 3200 tigers living in the wild across 13 countries worldwide shrinking 50 % in the last decade

•  The declining tiger population is direct consequence of illegal poaching , severe habitat loss and declining prey base

•  Basically , tigers need a large area to live in , they aren't fuckin' domesticated cats

• Agriculture / Logging / Urbanisation of rural areas and the growing human population - facts that are forcing the tigers into small , isolated pockets

• Smaller clusters of habitat are also more accessible to poachers than large tracts of natural forest just like how it's always easier to net fishes outta the aquarium rather than a lake 

•  Reduced habitats and increased threats to the tigers simply mean that fewer tigers can survive in the wild 

• Worldwide trading and illegal trafficking of tigers parts are the major threats driving tigers to extinction     

Alright .. now that you know somethings about tigers if you don't already know , I would like to share somethings about these wonderful animals . 

I am writing to express complete dissatisfaction towards the current Wild Life Act 1972 (Act 76) imposed by the Malaysian government in which I think is utterly fuckin' useless and has been only great in helping to grow the number of poachers and illegal traders

In 2005 , 23-year old Ang Chun Tan was fined a mere RM7,000 after he was found guilty with a carcass of a tiger cut in four in his fridge but Malaysia’s Protection of Wild Life Act 1972 listed the punishment for the crime of possessing a tiger with a maximum penalty of RM15,000 fine or a jail term not exceeding five years

Therefore , amending the Protection of Wild Life Act 1972 (Act 76) must be made a priority if our wildlife is to stand a chance . We need everyones help to make a difference if we'd like our future family and kids to be lucky enough to see a tiger

A campaign , which was carried out over one and a half years , calling for a stronger and more comprehensive wildlife law , has ONLY received the support of 56,062 people from 161 countries !!

A tiger can be cut up and sold by body parts to amounts up to RM 150,000 . The poachers under the current law are fined RM 7,000 - 15,000 . How can we justify this Wildlife law in Malaysia ?!

The poachers are not put off by the fuckin' law and resort to trying again and again because the fines are a mere dog shite compared the lucrative income they get from snaring tigers ..

Take a close look at the pictures , like with all the other pictures in the blog .. you can click them for a larger resolution . Please pass the word around .. A new group will be linked on to Trippy and Twisted on facebook so we can try and petition the NGO's to fight our case in the parliament this upcoming general meeting . No matter how hard they try , they can't stop us now ..

I am also uploading two videos of a 5 year old tiger that was trapped in the Royal Belum Forest Reserve , about an hour from my home in Malaysia . This tiger has since died from severe injuries caused by illegal poachers who has obviously not been caught yet .. Take this moment to ponder please ..

• Snared tiger at Royal Belum

• Failed rescue attempt of snared tiger

3 weathers a day in Enfield

I am really proud of the place I have called home for the last 7 years ...

Enfield is the name of the place :) 

The world's first ATM machine was installed right here in the heart of town .. so don't fuck about will ya' ?

Spelling's pretty similar to the same town where the best football team comes from ! 

You know what time it is ..

 Yeah , I just heard some of you cringe - going , yeah rite .. well , yeah fuckin' right back at ya' mate ! Haha .
Anyways , unlike countries with 4 seasons annually .. today I was put up with 3 different seasons on the same day . Well , this morning I woke up .. it almost felt like one of them days in a beachside country . Beachside country ? Well , I dunno what I really meant by that but everytime I go on holiday and accomodate myself next to a beach house somewhere , I feel like a fuckin' hero . The hangovers and body ache's usually don't suceed in prolonging my sleep or rest in anyway ..

One of the best views I got with my travels is this one , I love .. this one to start off with 

Picture yourself waking up to this . It was a normal shot taken from my room using a 100 quid camera mate , nothing special but the picture made it priceless

The next day , I got a bit more creative and captured this one ..

As the high tides set the shores , you see double shades .. A morning dip ?!

A view from my room during sunset ..

When life makes you think that you're a bore .. meaningless living , beer drinking , sex thinking , fat carrying , mind fuckin' person . I think the best medicine for your cures - TRAVEL . No I am not speaking through experience :) Assholes ..

Anyways , I am not gonna share the location of the places above in case you white tourists decide to make it just another fuckin' Phuket or Majorca . If you really wanna go there , speak to me mate , I'll draw you the fuckin' map :) Anyways , peculiar that I started off speaking about my wonderful town Enfield and ended up sharing sunsets and views from miles apart .

Anyways , just as I was speaking to you guys , while the sun was shining and the weather was sweet - it suddenly started snowing hard for like 10 minutes . I ain't joking .. 

This is the view I now get from my place in Enfield .. 

On a clear day , I could see all the way down to Epping Forest - That's what the estate agent said anyway :P

This entire post got me really confused now .. I wanted to write about something , I ended up writing about something like chalk and cheese . So I will try and end this post trying my best to quote something rather intellectual .. Ermm , the next time you wake up and feel shitty , despite trying your best to convince yourself that you are fine and if you still feel like shite - Just continue sleeping !?!!?!

I took this photo 6 years ago in a friends house in Puchong but I think it kinda generated the message . 

Hope you guys are as confused as I am at the moment .. Nice weekend geezers :)

Basically , due to the medication I have been prescribed these last few days .. I realise I had woken up 4 times today . Most of my dreams were spawned alongside these picturesque views

Dinner at Benji boy's

Benji and family invited us over for dinner the other night .. It was a very exciting day for me as it would be the first time I get to see Keeley and Lilly Mai after this long pause although I was quite anxious to try Ben's cooking , nervous more like it huh ?!

Keeley and Lilly looked so awesome , it was a family reunion to be honest . Benji was really enthusiastic about preparing dinner so we headed to the kitchen . I was the sous-chef , imitating some of those people in funny hats in the show The f-word except I had no hat on . My head chef was very organised and besides the occasional expressions with the word fuck , everything was smooth sailing . I learnt alot about English cooking .. for example peeling the potatoes - which felt like a complete a hassle . Trumphed at it towards the end though :)

Ben prepared onions with some baked peppers in vinegar and fried them together for a while and left them to be jellified as he put it .. They looked like this after 20 mins and tasted fuckin' awesome !

 

Ben then put in some of his magic powders , mixed them up together and started marinating this awesome lamb chops . He then put them in the refrigerator for the flavour to blend in 

How the meat looked after marination - Sick huh ?! Dijon mustard with lumps in ! Right Benji ?!

What the girls were up to when the men were at work :)

Someone couldn't keep his hands off the food !!

Awesome with lamb chops !

I don't have the photos for the two other ingredients but try and imagine this anyways :

1. Potatoes peeled and boiled and then baked with some special tops
2. Cauliflowers - chopped small and glazed with cheddar cheese and milk

Keeley put it very clearly that she loves his cooking but he takes a fuckin' long time . Indeed he did , this is how everybody looked whilst waiting for the food and I even took this oppurtunity to take photos of these two fishes in the kitchen ..

Had a small opinionated conversation about these fished in the aquarium but Benji convinced me that he spoke to them everyday when he woke up and that they weren't lonely in there . I think one was called fish and the other was called chips :P

That is a picture of me and my god daughter - Lilly Mai . Adorable and mysterious , I got a feeling she would be a musician traveling around the world , flower sticking and dread locked for sure :)

Anyways , at around 9:30 pm .. the food was finally ready ..
As Ben put it .. Done !

Benji boy -I didn't expect you to prepare such a good meal man . You were pulling awesome Jamie Oliver sounding phrases in the kitchen and the food seemed to have come from the River Cottage :)
The wait was that all satisfying afterall :)

A satisfied customer - think the smile says alot !

Keeley having some bites and posing for the camera like Britains Next top model

It was yet another awesome day at The Farendens . Next time around , we are gonna be trying Kerry's chicken pie :) Am gonna be counting the days .. Thanks guys , we had a fuckin' blast ! xxx

A Boa Constrictor

I am a fervent believer on these 2 ultimate wildlife rules :

1. Wild animals are called that for a reason and domestication of these animals is like intruding against the laws of nature 
2. Animals in the wild are best studied and observed from a distance without any form of interference of their natural habitats 

I have read numerous reports on people keeping these wild sometimes protected species of animals in the pleasure of their own homes . I was inspired on writing about the Boa Constrictors as I had met an old friend yesterday who then conveyed yet another very interesting story in which happened right here in the heart of London . For those of you who don't know how these snakes look :

The Boa Constrictors - 'A desired pet'

Interesting facts :

• Carnivorous reptiles
• Lifespan in the wild 20-30 years 
• Can grow up to 13 feet in size+ 100 pounds in weight
• Largest boa found was 18 feet !
  
• They are 2 feet in size when they are born and continue growing throughout their lifespan

Snakes emerge although they originally evolved thousands of miles away

What we need to know :

• They are not domesticated pets 
• They don't belong in homes but in their natural habitations
• They are hunted for sale on the Illegal Exotic Pet Trade
• Some species of the Boa's are endangered
• South Americans used them in homes to control rat infestations
  
• It has been proven that many owners find it hard to cope with the evergrowing sizes of these snakes therefore resort to releasing them into the wild when it suits their fancy

Here's the interesting story I heard yesterday in which really gave me the chills !

Landmark at the Crouch End town centre

Why am I speaking about snakes and then diverting towards Crouch End you ask ?

• Well basically .. my friend has an acquaintance that owns a 6 feet Boa Constrictor who lives just a few houses from his . My friend has a mass phobia for snakes therefore was rather paranoid whenever he went over for a drink or a fuckin' biscuit 
• My mate was there last week and his friend was rather upset and explained that his Boa Constrictor is behaving rather awkwardly for the last week 
• Interesting fact ! This Boa sleeps with him during the nights and usually curls up like in a spiral shape , you know the usual sight we watch on the National Geographic channel but for the last week , the snake has been sleeping in a straight position
• Fearing the snake may be ill , he took the snake to the vet in Crouch End and explained that his snake had not eaten or drank any water - continuing how the sleeping position has changed overnight 

The veterinarian applauded him for bringing the snake in immediately as this has saved his life . Not the fuckin' snake but of the owner himself ..

• What the snake was doing by positioning himself straight was to identify the size of the owner comparing it to his own
• Why he had not eaten or had anything to drink for 10 days ?
• Why don't you think for yourself .. ??!!

Lesson we all learn - Don't try and change the laws of nature you stupid fucks ! Tigers and lions do not belong in cages , zoos or circuses . Why try take away an animals natural instincts wanting to integrate it with your personal thrills . One day when I put you in a cage and make you dance for thousands of cheering people .. I wanna see you smile ! 

A dream

I went out on a bender last night , totally unplanned . One of those nights when you thought was gonna be slow and chilled but then the opposite happens . Went to Nay Tun's place last night and he prepared this sick steak . It was definitely the first time I have ever seen him cook Western food but the turnout was absolutely fantastic !

I then went somewhere really special for a really singular reason . I will blog about this tomorrow with pictorials . Was simply thinking , a couple of bevy's down the Ridgeway and I should be done . Out of the blue , was invited to a party at Taryn's house . Little did I know that the party compromised of almost 20-30 people . It was a very mixed crowd party and I must say that the Polish beers I brought along with me flanking the nice people who were there enabled me to have a good time ..

Was then joined by Andy , Sam and Ben for some minutes - we said our goodbyes when we realised that everything was closed . Another drunken walk home .. realised I had nicked some road bleeping lights on the way home . I am very attracted to the lights when I am drunk .. ain't my fault really !

I was in my brother Ben's house alongside with Kerry and her mate . This mate of hers was showing me little drawings that she made while she was bored or expressing herself . For some weird reason .. we got along so well . I felt like she was my spiritual friend that I have been lacking for all these times in my life .

Whilst she was seated on the other side of the room , we had small glimpses of each other at every given oppurtunity and everytime our eyes met , I felt this tiny little tingle at the back of me neck . I felt like I was 17 ... I felt like I am in love with love all over again . And at one point , I went up to her and sat next to her . She smelt of summer fruits and her medium length black hair was astonishingly shiny . Her eyes were big and threw out a million gazes at me .. Just as I was going to take a deep breath to keep my cool .

Our hands met and we held on , very slowly ..

We gawked into each others eyes with passion

Our hands were moving very gently , discovering the magic of the moment

We then hugged .. I felt reborn

Then of course , we shared the most wonderful kiss .. a little bit sloppy in the beginning but slowly as we found each others paces .. the world just spun around us . I was in love ...

Zzzzzzzzzzzzz - The fuckin' phone then rings . My mate wants to know if I'd like to come over to his house for lunch . I really was not paying attention to what he was saying but simply trying to convince myself that it weren't a dream and hung up pretty swiftly . No matter how hard I tried , I could not get a glimpse of her face no more . I could not pursue the kiss that I longed for .. I lost the moment , I lost my magical soul partner .

Funny how I was actually devastated about this whole situation ..

Are you really out there ? Or are you merely a dream ?